Straight talking. Random thinking.

Debenhams, Disability & Dolls

2010-03-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s been a busy few weeks since the Debenhams launch. Along with all the press I’ve been doing I’ve also had to continue to juggle my full time day job and law school, which hasn’t left me very much time for blogging. I’ve received really positive feedback from people for which I’m very appreciative, it’s been really good to know that it has touched other women, both those with a disability and those without. I was asked dozens of questions in interviews which I endeavoured to answer as honestly and accurately as possible, but there are always time limits and word counts to work around. I thought I’d use this blog as an opportunity to add a few things.

Let me begin by saying I love fashion, I love make up, I love jewellery, I love magazines, I love looking at beautiful or striking images and I love even more having the good fortune to work with photographers, stylists, hair and make up artists to create strong bold beautiful images. I’m well aware that fashion is a billion pound industry, not a charity. Millions of pounds are spent from start to finish; clothes and accessories are designed, manufactured, advertised with beautiful and aspirational images and sold in stores. We are all buying into to a little piece of a lifestyle that makes us look and feel better. How often have you bought a gorgeous evening gown with no special event in the diary but a hope that if you buy it, the event will come? These aspirational purchases are a joy and made complete when you finally get to wear the dress to an event sometime later.

Disabled women are fashion consumers too, like other women we fund the industry with our purchases, we also want to look good, feel good and buy into the trends or tribes with which we most identify. Young people growing up frequently want to belong to some kind of social group or niche and this applies equally to young people with disabilities who are too often isolated because of stereotypical prejudices of disability and assumptions that we must all want to hang out with each other so we can compare wheelchairs/ sticks/prosthesis/hearing aids. We don’t. It’s human nature to veer towards those you identify with most, and I guess I don’t identify myself primarily as a wheelchair user; it’s just an aspect of me, not the entirety,

It’s this aspect of seeing someone to identify with that I think it important. As a child I had dark brown hair (I’m currently blonde) and I can remember being incredibly excited and envious when my cousin arrived on holiday with a brunette Barbie!! This was like the Holy Grail of dolls; I loved playing with her for a week and was devastated when my cousin returned to South Africa taking her dark haired, enchanting Barbie with her. Every girl sub consciously identifies with someone growing up, all my dolls were brunette except Barbie, my favourite Charlie’s Angel was Kelly because she was the one I identified with and most wanted to emulate. (Though funnily enough I’ve never really had the desire to sign up to the LAPD and work for Blake Carrington’s voice on loudspeaker!)

Many women young and old feel under increasing pressure to try and match the perfection that is in magazines and advertising, I’m not suggesting brands should use less aesthetically attractive or obese models, I realise they need their brands to sell, they create illusions of perfection that we try to attain. I’m simply saying if there was more diversity in the models used, then more women would see images they could identify with rather than feel inadequate in comparison. There needs to be a balance, for every 16 year old size zero model, there should be a 26 year old size 14 model. Let’s remember who has greater spending power, women in their 30s and 40s have a greater disposable income to spend on clothes and accessories than teenagers and students in their 20s. I’ve asked dozens of women for their opinion and they all say they want to see more women in magazines not young teenage girls. They also said we should be giving younger girls a richer and more diverse group of role models rather than women like Katie Price, WAGs and Big Brother contestants who keep plastic surgeons in business; it’s all too easy to temporarily cash in on beauty and sexuality when you’re young…not so easy when you get older.

It would be nice to see images for more women to aspire to and connect with; so often disability is featured in the media to report on the Paralympics, hate crimes or euthanasia; It’s not that these aren’t worthy of media attention, just that there are many more dimensions to disability than that small sample. I think it is essential to see more healthy, vibrant, interesting and vivacious people with disabilities. The more diverse representation there is, the more normalised it will become.

Obviously I think what Debenhams have done is great and hope other high street retailers follow suit, but I think it’s a while before we’ll see the wheelchair being referred to in the fashion singular by Karl….

”Hmm…I know what this divine creation is missing darling…it needs a sexy wheel to accentuate the curves…”

www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/7323888/Debenhams-first-with-disabled-High-Street-model.html

Debenhams

2010-03-06T12:32:00.001-08:00

Photoshoot

2010-02-16T14:49:00.000-08:00

Just home from a brilliant busy day, a really great photoshoot.
I can't go into much detail yet, not until after the launch next week, but suffice to say it was a first....

There was a fabulous crew on board, everyone was so lovely and supportive.
Usually I don't feel particularly nervous ahead of photo shoots, I've been modelling for over 14 years, but this time it was different. It is a first and as I was getting ready in hair and make up, the potential of this shoot really struck me ; another small step towards inclusion and representation of disability. I hope the images challenge a few misconceptions about disability; it's been a long time coming.

More to come next week....
Sx

More on Naked Tonight

2010-01-26T08:06:00.000-08:00

There is more of Gok helping another woman feel fabulous tonight and little bit more of me too....

How to Look Good Naked With a Difference.

Channel 4, 8pm Tuesday 26 January.

Please sign our Naked petition

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/how-to-look-good-naked/articles/naked-ad-campaign-petition

How to Look Good Naked With a Difference

2010-01-19T06:51:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in a previous blog that I'd been busy with a great opportunity, and I'm pleased to say that some of it is on television tonight. Late last year I was offered the chance to participate in "How to Look Good Naked With a Difference" and I jumped at the chance. I've watched the programmes before and have appreciated how much attention Gok Wan pays to rebuilding self esteem and re educating women to see the best in themselves.

I do feel very strongly that negative body image is a big problem for disabled women. Millions of able bodied women complain about trying to strive for physical perfection through diets, exercise and plastic surgery; but what about us disabled women for whom there is no quick fix through those routes? We have to learn accept what we have and make the very best of it. I think that makes us pretty strong, formidable, sexy women.

And who dictates what physical perfection is? Who is our judge & jury? Is there some illusive organisation that dictates who is imperfect? Or is it just us as women running ourselves down? As a disabled model I often feel under scrutiny, but not because I'm paraplegic with no stomach muscles, but because in recent years I've put on weight. That has caused me more stress before stripping for a shoot than being paralysed in front of the camera ever did! We need to learn to love our bodies for the fabulous machines that they are; love every lump, bump, scar, stump, slack muscle, stretch mark, rebuilt bones. They all tell a story and contribute to the women we are; pretty damn perfect!

I haven't seen the final edit so I'll be watching tonight, but I had a brilliant time during filming, everyone involved was great to work with and it was a joy to collaborate with two gorgeous and talented disabled presenters Natasha Wood and Nikki Fox.

Hope you enjoy - Channel 4 8pm Tuesday 19 January

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/how-to-look-good-naked/episode-guide/series-6/episode-1

Sx

Alternate Blog

2010-01-12T04:51:00.000-08:00

I know some of you have mentioned experiencing problems following/subscribing or commenting on my blog without a Googlemail account. With this in mind I have set up another blog on Wordpress, they'll both say the exact same stuff so don't worry I'm not expecting people to read both!
www.shannonmurray.wordpress.com

Plump Pout!

2010-01-11T09:12:00.001-08:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8451439.stm

Haha! It was worth the teasing as a child!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-10T12:12:00.000-08:00

Firstly I feel like I should apologise to anyone who actually reads this blog; I intended to be a regular blogger, not someone who half heartedly thinking up random things to write about once every 6 months. Anyway, first 2010 resolution is obviously to blog with regularity!

In late November an offer came my way which was too good an opportunity to refuse, (more next week) and that along with my full time day job, law school and the madness that is December left me with little time to write an intelligible and articulate blog. There have been lots of things that I've read or watched which have made me want to log in and write or rant but without the luxury of time they would have been incoherent ramblings.

One of the things I did do was a brief appearance on Channel 5 News and "Live from Studio 5" talking about the use of able bodied actors in disabled roles. If you missed it, here it is: http://www.five.tv/programmes/daytime/live-from-studio-five/51510

Whilst I realise there are instances when it is acceptable to use an able bodied actor (a big budget film which needs to guarantee large box office receipts will cast a well known actor, or a script where the character acquires their disability some way through the film). As an actor I know most of us love playing the most challenging roles that are far removed from who we are, and playing a disabled character would be an incredibly challenging and rewarding (and awarding!) opportunity. Without those instances we'd never have seen the brilliant performances by Daniel Day-Lewis as Christie Brown in "My Left Foot", Tom Cruise in "Born on the 4th of July" and Hilary Swank in "Million Dollar Baby".

However, as a disabled actress I am against regularly casting able bodied actors in disabled roles; the work is just so thin on the ground, and though I know that is the case for the majority of able bodied actors too, I think it is only fair that if they can audition for disabled characters then equally we should be able to audition for characters where there is no explicit mention of a disability. Some casting directors have said there isn't a large pool of talented disabled actors from which to cast, this is largely due to the fact that until recent years, most drama courses were in buildings without sufficient facilities for disabled students. But this is also in part because the roles are so few, we aren't cast frequently enough to build on experience; there really needs to be more work done to nurture disabled talent so we can prove we've got what it takes.

That is why it was so great to watch "Cast Offs" on Channel 4 last month, finally a more positive and honest take on disability. Strong, well written and entertaining characters with diverse relationships on and off the island.

Why, it even had sex and disability....the last taboo!
Much more on that in a future blog. Until then, I wish you lots of good things in 2010.

Sx

Cutting Edge: Katie: My Beautiful Face

2009-11-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

I promise this blog won’t always be me commenting on television programmes (or so lengthy!) but I’m sure many of you will have seen “Cutting Edge, Katie: My Beautiful Face”. Katie Piper was left scarred in 2008 after sulphuric acid was thrown in her face, it was a vicious premeditated act arranged by her ex boyfriend changing her appearance and her life forever. She has since endured countless reconstructive operations, suffered the agony of scar dressing management and worn a plastic pressure mask constantly to help reduce the scarring on her face and try to overcome the resulting physical damage.

Katie has received incredible and infallible support from her medical team and her family, but from my own experience and that of people I know, the emotional and mental scars of a dramatic and involuntary change of appearance are often underestimated. Rebuilding confidence and mentally adjusting to new image are as hard to conquer as the physical damage. When recovering from injuries and illnesses we are given physio to help with physical rehabilitation, occupational therapy to re learn daily tasks but very little to cope with appearance. Also, in the initial months or years after a acquiring a disability or disfigurement you are completely focussed on physical rehab and getting some of your life back together; you only have the energy to think about what you look like slightly further down the line. (Though that’s not to say I didn’t change my nail varnish every day whilst on bed rest!) Rediscovering your vanity isn’t on your rehab timetable and it’s hardly a priority; we spend an hour trying to get dressed, struggling for 15 mins to get socks on, tug on some tracksuit bottoms and schlep down to the gym. But at some point we need to get ready for the outside world where society is all too quick to judge on appearance.

When rehab is on target you are encouraged to make trips outside of the hospital, I remember my first trip to a mall with my mum and family friends, I was excited but when I got there it was overwhelming, it seemed so big, so many people and I didn’t feel like I fit in, I felt overly self conscious and I soon became tired; my neck grew sore and the fun I was anticipating soon diminished. Cutting Edge follows Katie on her first trip to a shopping centre with her sister and much of what she said resonated with my own experience. She said she felt embarrassed and that she finds it easier not to look at or make eye contact with other people. I used to feel that way too, I only feel it now on days when I know I’m looking and feeling rough and those are the days I take the racehorse approach; I imagine I’ve got blinkers on and simply avoid eye contact with passing strangers so I can remain oblivious to any staring.

Katie says she feels intimidated by sales assistants at beauty counters thinking that they might be thinking “Why is she trying to buy make up? She’ll need more than that!”
I used to feel similar going clothes shopping in fashionable trendy shops, or expensive designer shops. Sometimes I felt like they didn’t think I could belong, or I might tarnish their cool image. This was made worse in early 90s by the lack of wheelchair access, no changing rooms, no lifts and no online shopping; hardly an encouraging or equal welcome is it? I ignored it all though, making my way up steps into shops and making the shops come to me too. My mum would park the car outside and ask the sales assistants to bring a selection out to the car! Thankfully access is much better now, it’s not perfect by any means, but it is greatly improved.

But none of that addresses the emotional problem…why should we feel embarrassed? Shouldn’t we feel proud for standing out from everyone else and getting on with life in the way we want to. Why is embarrassment our primary emotion, a paranoia that everyone is looking at and judging us? Is it because society and our image obsessed culture make us feel we should apologise for our appearance because we don’t conform to the norm? Why do people see the differences before they see the similarities? Sometimes it can be women our own age that make us feel most uncomfortable, whilst inside we’re screaming “I’m just like you!” We are just women striving to look the best that we can, making the best of the hand we were dealt. Why shouldn’t we all be able to take pride in our appearance if we so wish? Whether that means 2 hours of hair and make up or a quick swipe of chapstick? It shouldn’t be something one is made to feel embarrassed, ashamed or unworthy of, just because they use a wheelchair, crutches, callipers, prosthetics or have scarring on their face or body.

When you’ve suffered a permanently disabling or disfiguring injury you’re desperate to get back to your own life and live like any other vital and active woman. This is something that should be encouraged, supported and applauded at every step. I’m not talking Narcissus here, just simple confidence and pride in one’s appearance. Yet it is treated as almost trivial, which is odd given that our appearance is a constant reminder of what has happened to us; that we shall never be as we were before….
Katie looks back at old photos and mourns her beautiful face; I miss my fabulous legs, I was 14 and 5ft 8” when I broke my neck, I was just becoming a confident young woman and in seconds that all changed forever. Yet over time, I did transform into that confident proud young woman and moved way beyond any disabled stereotypes I had seen growing up; eventually I would like to be able to help other young women regain that confidence and see the beauty within themselves.

Our circumstances of our injuries are so different but the outcomes pretty similar. For example Katie was horrifically and intentionally violated, I simply had an unfortunate diving accident; I can hold no on else responsible nor carry any resentment or blame towards anyone. I am lucky to still have my face intact, and she still has her fabulous body that enables her to do things I can’t anymore. But we both feel the aftershocks of a physical change that is beyond our control and not capable of being fixed by surgeons or fairy godmothers. I have no doubt that Katie will continue to make amazing progress and eventually recognise the strong, able, inspirational and beautiful woman that she has become, whilst always remembering that people who can’t see beyond physical appearance usually aren’t worth the trouble. Our face & body is just the surface, so much more lies beneath our skin.

Ruby Slippers

2009-11-09T03:23:00.001-08:00

http://www.harrods.com/HarrodsStore/GlobalPages/EventArticle.aspx?Id=20322b53-7882-4752-847f-25c65f08c0ad

Loving these!!

Comments!

2009-11-09T03:04:00.000-08:00

Some of you have contacted me to say you've been unable to leave comments. Apologies!
I've now amended this, so feel free to comment; I'm just so chuffed anyone is actually reading this.
New post coming this week, slight delay as I had to edit my previous post for publication elsewhere. (Quite excited)
Sx

Fix Me: Horizon

2009-10-28T05:01:00.000-07:00

I watched this interesting doc on BBC2 last night and found it rather thought provoking. It followed the experiences of 3 different people looking into stem cell research and the possibilities it may hold for improving or even curing neurological, cardiac, genetic and muscular conditions. I didn't learn much more than I already knew; as a paraplegic I'm kept up to date with most scientific advances in this field through the Spinal Research Trust.
However I did question my own desire (or lack thereof) to walk again....Most people are always surprised to learn that if I had one wish, I'm not entirely sure it would be to walk again; it's not a guarantee of happiness and fulfilment.

Don't get me wrong, if there was a proven cure I wouldn't turn it down and of course there are dozens of things I'd love to do given half the chance; walking through the surf on the beach feeling the sand slip through my toes, jump and splash about in puddles, leapfrog over a bollard, try out kickboxing, tap dance again, maybe go for the Irish dancing lessons I turned my nose up at as a child, cycle through the countryside, slow dance with a gorgeous partner, learn the Argentinian tango, ice skate at Somerset House or the Rockerfeller Plaza, run up 26 of flights of stairs just because I can. Oooh and do some cartwheels of course!
In the first year after my accident, the doctors never said that I wouldn't walk again, just that "it was highly unlikely that voluntary movement would return". I had regained quite a lot of sensation below my level of injury (T2) and was hopeful that movement might return but acutely aware that it probably wouldn't. I focussed on the physical rehabiliation that was going to enable me to live an independent life and carry on with being a teenage girl.
I knew about the work being done by the Spinal Research Trust and had faith that scientists and neurologists were working towards one day finding a cure, so that a complete spinal cord injury may not necessarily mean life in a wheelchair. I was 14 and thought that even if it took them 20 years to find a successful treatment, I would still only be 34 and young enough to appreciate 30+ years of movement. So I got on with life and didn't think much about it, read the updates from Spinal Research, discussed any developments with my spinal consultant during my annual check ups at Stoke Mandeville, but didn't feel the urge to chase theories and cures.
Like anyone else I feel hopeful when medical journals publicise some new breakthrough and I was delighted when President Obama changed the US stance on embryonic stem cell research, but somewhere along the way I stopped imagining myself benefiting from any developments, but was just pleased for the hope they would offer other people.
It wasn't a conscious decision, as I grew older my priorities changed, I was enjoying my life and all it was offering me and a cure mattered less. I also knew that any treatments would initially be most effective in the recently injured; my injury was getting older and my neurons would be less receptive to the potential treatments. It does sting a little to realise that nearly 20 years have passed since my injury, and I'm no nearer that cartwheel. Where did all that time go?? I can't deny that for a millisecond I thought would I have been more fortunate to have been injured in 2010 rather than 1990, but as yet we don't have time machines so it is irrelevant!

So as I watched last night, I initially felt sympathy for those chasing the dream of a cure, I was secure in my position of acceptance, wasn't I? Well yes, that was until the last 15 mins when Sophie was speaking with Dr Hans Kierstead at the Reeve Irvine Research Centre in California, he said he believed not only was a cure achievable, but it was a treatment with the potential to be effective 10 & 20 years post injury. At that point I realised I had tears rolling down my face...

As I said previously, I mistakenly started watching with sympathy for the individuals chasing their dream, but I ended with admiration for their bravery and passion for chasing the dream that somewhere along the way I became disillusioned with. But their pursuit and Dr Kierstead's words have re ignited a spark of hope for me and possibly millions of other people who would benefit from advancements in stem cell research.

Love & laughter
Sx

First Day at Blog School

2009-10-20T04:59:00.000-07:00

Well I've finally set up a blog....now I need to decide what its purpose should be.
Random rants? Philosophical fumblings? Opinionated outbursts?
Perhaps a little less alliteration...

I'm a young woman living London, a wheelchair user since a diving accident as a teenager left me paraplegic. Model, actress, spokesperson, disability consultant and sometime writer.

Find myself blogging due to an increasing desire to be more outspoken, like millions of others I thought a blog would be ideal testing ground; or a place to crash and burn with tumbleweed blowing past.

Feel free to follow me on Twitter too: @Shannonemurray